Christin's Words from Sunshine Hill

If it is to be music
you must be present to it, must offer to it
a profound self-remembering.
-from Altar Music

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Soul Song and Crutches


Sammie dropped by this afternoon looking lively in her yummy green Carmel, CA, hoodie that her son, Matt, picked out when she visited him and Rachel a few weeks past. Among other things, she warned me that if I didn’t blog soon—preferably before the end of the day—she would be forced to remove my blog notifications from her Internet alerts. 

It isn’t that I haven’t thought about it. I have been considering titles now for a few weeks. “Slowing Down,” “Mrs. Four Legs,” “Need a Crutch?” and they all sounded blah. I’m not feeling blah. But I have slowed down and am told I need to use crutches for a while. No – I didn’t break a leg. But apparently I have aggravated practically every moving part associated with my right hip.

John is “driving Ms Christin” back and forth from the physical therapist. The plan is for me to be able to drive and walk alone again soon.

But my fingers still work. And my head is as clear as can be expected, and maybe clearer than at some times in my life. So what’s with the absence from the Sunshine Hill Blog? I think it is my obsession with my latest project. Probably I’ve mentioned it, but I certainly don’t expect you to research past blogs to find out (nor do I want to do that). So---it’s a kind of memoir of my spiritual journey, tentatively titled THE YEARNING. During the time I’ve been absent from the blog, I’ve finished the first draft of the first part---about 100 single spaced pages.

The work is challenging. There are parts of my life that seem to defy understanding. That means I write a scene as I remember it and then wonder what on earth does it mean within the context of my whole life. It isn’t lost on me that this is a perfect task to undertake at my age. Erik Erikson, who was a developmental psychologist, says that people of my age would be working on the developmental task of Integrity vs. Despair. It is the time of life for integrating all that came before and being honest about who and what we are. These are the years when the soul becomes whole even as the body begins to fail. When people are only aware of their bodily disintegration the tendency towards despair is strong. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest and prophet, addressed this recently in his book, FALLING UPWARDS. (Love it! Recommend it!)

So right now the crutches lean against the wall, waiting for me to take them up so I can walk into the kitchen to take the bread from the oven and stir the curried squash and lentil soup. And being oh so grateful that I can do that, and at the same time still sing my soul.
(AND be back with all of you!)

1 comment:

Stratoz said...

Nice to see a post. Gives me a chance to tell you that Gypsey Bones is on my bookshelf. Good luck with the project.